How one family supported their child through anxiety: Oliver’s story

On school mornings, it would start the same way: a stomach-ache, a refusal, and a growing sense that something wasn’t right.

For Oliver*, an eight-year-old boy, getting through the school day had become increasingly difficult. His parents were navigating daily distress, frequent calls from school, and the ripple effects anxiety can have across an entire household.

“It was a struggle to get Oliver to school,” says Winnie, a Mental Health Clinician with Sonder’s Western Wellbeing Hub in Port Adelaide. “Despite his parents giving him a lot of encouragement, they’d get a lot of calls from school saying that he needed to go home because he wasn’t feeling well.”

Behind the stomach aches was something harder to name. Following an incident with a caregiver, Oliver’s world had become less predictable, and much less safe.

“He was more anxious, quite fearful, and there were panic-like symptoms as well,” Winnie explains. “For Oliver, that anxiety often showed up physically as  nauseousness and an unsettling feeling in the body.”

For his family, the impact was immediate. Alongside the emotional strain came practical challenges: managing work, caring for siblings, and responding to frequent school pickups.

“There was stress on the parent-child relationship, and across the whole family,” Winnie says.

Oliver and his family were referred to Western Wellbeing Hub, which offers a free range of mental health services for children, adults, and new/expecting parents.

Rather than jumping straight to solutions, Winnie focused first on connecting with Oliver and understanding his experience. Together, they began mapping his anxiety:  when it showed up, what was happening around him, and how patterns emerged in different contexts.

In Oliver’s case, uncertainty played a key role – not knowing what might happen next, or whether he would feel safe at school. From there, the work shifted to helping him recognise what anxiety felt like in his own body.

Building emotional literacy, one step at a time

A key focus of therapy was building Oliver’s emotional literacy – his ability to recognise, understand, and communicate what he was feeling.

“In practice, it’s being able to say, ‘I’m feeling like this when this happens, and I need the people around me to do this so I can feel better,’” Winnie explains.

This work extended beyond the consult room. Oliver’s parents played an active role, helping to identify subtle changes in his behaviour and reinforcing strategies at home.

“Sometimes kids can’t pick up on those early signs when they feel overwhelmed” Winnie says. “So, I would ask mum what she noticed – changes in posture, behaviour, small cues.”

Together, they developed practical strategies to manage distress early, restoring a sense of safety in the body.

Importantly, Oliver was part of that process — children are very creative, intuitive, and open-minded.

“We’d try strategies together and get his feedback.” Winnie says. “Children can be quite straightforward sometimes and will tell you when something is working or not.”

Noticing the shift

Over time, small changes began to build.

Oliver’s parents received fewer calls from school, and he became more able to express what he was feeling.

For Oliver’s mum, one moment stood out:

“She told me she was surprised to hear him say, ‘Mum, can you stop asking me about [the caregiver]? It makes me feel worse,’” Winnie says.

It was a simple sentence, but a significant one – a clear sign of a child recognising his emotional limits and communicating them.

Across the family, the impact of this increased emotional awareness and therapeutic strategies was felt.

“There’s less stress and less worry now,” Winnie says. “They can start to put more energy into other aspects of the family, including Oliver’s siblings.”

Clinical measures also showed a clear decrease in Oliver’s level of distress, and his school attendance improved with fewer disruptions.

While support is ongoing, the family now feels confident reducing the frequency of appointments. The focus has shifted to strengthening Oliver’s skills and helping him navigate more challenging situations.

Why early support matters

For children, anxiety can be complex, especially when it’s linked to experiences they don’t yet have the words or the developmental capacity to fully understand.

“It’s especially hard for children because they have less control over their situation,” Winnie says. “They’re not always able to understand adult issues or make sense of it.”

That’s why early support is so important. Building emotional awareness and regulation skills early helps children navigate not just current challenges, but future relationships and experiences.

“Understanding your needs and learning about boundaries are really important life skills,” Winnie says.

For parents, reaching out for support isn’t always easy. Fear of judgement or feelings of self-doubt can get in the way — but parenting today is challenging for everyone.

“There’s a lot of pressure around what parenting should look like and that can feel very overwhelming at times,” Winnie says.

“When children and families attend therapy, we work with them to implement effective strategies that utilise the skills, strengths, and resilience that already exist in the family but can be forgotten momentarily due to preoccupation with stress and challenging behaviours.”

And for children like Oliver, with the right support, there is time – and real capacity – for change.

“it’s never too late to repair and reconnect with our children,” Winnie says.

About Western Wellbeing Hub

Every family faces challenges at different points in time. With the right support, change and recovery are possible.

The Western Wellbeing Hub offers free, recovery-focused mental health services and group programs for children, families, adults, and new or expecting parents.

Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or someone you care about, our team is here to help you take the next step. Learn more about Western Wellbeing Hub at sonder.net.au/western-wellbeing.

Our Southern Adelaide Medicare Mental Health Kids Hub is now open at Marion GP Plus and Aldinga GP Plus. Families are welcome to walk into either location during opening hours – no appointment required. Learn more about the Kids Hub at sonder.net.au/kids-hub.

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*Name and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy.

This service is supported by funding from the Adelaide Primary Health Network through the Australian Government’s PHN Program.